A random thought for my future career path

Time flies, and my AL was over !! There's always a feeling of reluctance to go back to work after AL. I guess this is so called Post AL syndrome, hahaha:) 

Well,  today I had an impromptu interim session with my nurse manager. During the PPA, Sister asked me whether I would wanna to upgrade and specialise in an area. I wanted to specialise in midwifery. However, every yr they only send 2 nurses for the course. And there are so many nurses in front of me in the ' queue' means that I'll need to wait for damn long for my turn!!! So sister recommend me med surg and ICU courses. These 2 courses looks attractive to me but when I think of going back to hectic medical or surgical ward, I've really have no confidence in nursing so many patients. At least, if I choose ICU, is only nursing 1 patient. Despite the fact that the 1 patient can really make u busy for the whole shift. It's definately stressful to work on acute area. I'm really fickle minded now. Idk should I just continue with my degree plans while staying in this ward and wait for my turn for midwifery or proceed on with degree and if by then when I've completed my degree it's still not my turn yet, then I transfer to ICU work for 6 mths and study advance dip on ICU. Cos Promotion is very fast in ICU. The promotion is slower if I stay in this ward. Well that's a tad too far to think for promotion. Let's come down to the basics. Having have worked in this comfort zone for 10 mths, I really can't imagine if I still can cope and keep up with the fast pace outside world in the other wards. On the other hand , I don't wanna to be deemed as a nurse who knows nothing up to her level when I become a SSN in future. I just wanna be a good nurse. I always think that as a nurse, one must be able to take care of her baby, family, and deal with women's illness , taking care of the elderly and managing the critically ill. Currently I am alr in the 1st category- in the midst of gaining knowledge . Maybe I've learnt some basics in the 2nd category due to last working experience in the previous ward. Am I dare to accept the 3rd category? Hmm. Just a random thought. I guess I need to think over and plan a more specified pathway for my career.